Rob Merrills
A lifetime of being stupid with flammable and/or explosive things, an affinity with pubs and love of the Sussex countryside – if that’s not a recipe for the making of a Bonfire boy, I don’t know what is! Throw in a predilection for dressing up like a pillock, and the heady cocktail is complete – even if it does smell of kerosene and have a pig’s head on a stick rather than a hint of aniseed and a little paper parasol…
And so, I find myself as the Captain of Firesite for our Glorious Ensemble – a decision borne more from the random distribution of jobs in the hope of keeping people quiet rather than any diligent application of stringent selection criteria or sage consideration. The ability to pile up wooden things (twice, when required) and then set light to them seems to be the prime directive for the role, for which I would appear to have some sort of innate talent. This rare skill was apparent even when attempting to do so in the face of 70 mile an hour winds and torrential rain, as served up by Storm Bert in 2024 |
Having previously flirted (outrageously) with Bonfire at Mayfield, then South Street and then Rye, I am now a member of CPBS (obviously) and Firle; this amounts to three decades of bonfire-related tomfoolery, with the passage of time failing to diminished my enthusiasm for things in any way, shape, manner or form – this is still best summed up as ‘witless, childish glee’ - even now, with a Stern Wife in tow to frown and admonish (and do nearly all the driving, thanks dear !)
My most gratifying achievement over the years remains having prompted the adoption in 2023 of our new pioneers’ costume – the retinue of Richard III. This was conceived over an earnest, studious and highly academic brainstorming session at The Six Bells in cahoots with our then Captain of Torches, and remains an isolated beacon of splendour amidst all the other cretinous ideas that have been put forward for consideration by increasingly bemused fellow committee members. Clearly even they were able to take on board that there are very few ways in which the whole bonfire experience can be improved upon, but that the addition of armour, felted boar badges and sharp-bladed slashing weapons were going to be undeniably fine enhancements to proceedings! |
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